Monday, May 27, 2002

These are, it has to be said, very early days, but I too have a few opinions on Big Brother 3. I haven't seen very much of it - I couldn't be doing with the 'entering of the house' first edition; there was always going to be a manic over-excitement exhibited in the players: a mix of first night nerves and hooting bewilderment as each realized they were the centre of attraction. And in the bits I saw I thought one or two of them were going to explode with the sort of crazed happiness children show on Christmas Day as they tear open their presents in a kind of transfixed frenzy barely registering what lies inside the wrapping paper.

Of course the maddest performance came from the already reviled Jade seen taking a girlish delight in the whole thing, her brain fast rewinding back to when she was thirteen, a mere seven years ago. And in so doing getting on everyone's frazzled nerves. Including mine as I reached for the remote control and sought refuge in the grown up sanity of HIGNFY. There I stayed, long enough to see Angus receive a ( predictable) verbal bruising before inexplicably and somewhat sheepishly fumbling for the remote again.

I don't know what it is, I watched the first BB more out of curiosity than anything else. But along the way I became slightly addicted. When BB2 started I was determined that: ' It won't be the same, none of these characters interest me, I'll give this one a miss. I was soon as addicted as previously, if not more so.

Same story with this one. I don't want to want to watch it. But I will watch it, though I shall try to draw the line at those longueurs over at E4 and those ridiculous silences full of tweeting birds and phantom trains tack-tack-tack-tack ...to too to tooing during salacious bits of conversation and fruity language outbursts. And references to the participants lives which might cause them future embarrassment apparently.

At the moment I'm not looking to rip daft Jade's heart out. Admittedly she's young and silly and seems to have suffered a similar cultural upbringing and attendance to the same Charm School as dear Helen from BB2. I fear there could yet be a little plate licking and knives in mouths during future eating scenes. But she will be regarded as a bit of naive fun by audiences and the butt of many jokes by the more sophisticated housemates, so I think she'll stay in for a while. She was also very quick off the mark to get into her bikini, and despite showing a body for which the term puppy fat could have been invented, will win her more friends than enemies, methinks.

However I have taken a bit of a dislike to Sunita who gives the impression of being a spite-filled volcano. I would not like to fall out with her within the constraints of the house and would point my elbow well and truly in her direction if I was voting from inside.

As for the rest, it's just too early. Though I think unless Spencer is sent packing soon I fear he may fall into a Slough of Despond. His idea of socialbility seems to be having an intimate relationship with his ciggies and wine glass whilst sat ruminating not on what this adventure has in store for him but on what delights (football, his mates) he's missing out on. Plump Alison seems game for the long haul looking like a mixture of one of the Weather Girls and Lennox Lewis' mum, happy to cuddle up to the men in the knowledge that if they don't fancy her no man's going to reject a surrogate mother figure - all the men will love her cosy fun, making her place in the house safe. Sultry Kate's a potentially much more threatened figure from unwanted physical attention is cuddling up to nobody at the moment - that may come later. No doubt C4 would like to make a star of her.

I shall continue to watch with interest.

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